Brandon's dream:

I was about six years old and I dreamt that I was somehow both Jeoffrey the giraffe from Toys ‘R Us and Thomas Jefferson at the same time (including wearing formal British wear with a powdered wig on my giraffe head and buckled shoes on my giraffe legs). I also happened to be taking a shower (in a really short shower for a giraffe) and unfortunately, I had to pee. I had a thirty second debate about whether or not it was cool to pee in the shower that took place in a very formal internal monologue that I think was supposed to be how I thought Jefferson probably talked...I decided it was. Then I started peeing in real life.